Friday, April 23, 2010

Some Work Rants - Receptionist

Our receptionist is not always the easiest person to work with. She has a quick temper, an attitude that could use work, and a tendency to throw staplers, etc. Accordingly, I offer the following comments from e-mails to my co-workers after my run-ins with her:

From a day after a heavy snowfall:

We are listening to nothing but weather complaints down here. About how I have NO IDEA how horrible the roads were, and now she has to sit and listen to the furnace and feel the vibrations and it's NOT JOYFUL (I don't believe she would know joyful if it bit her in the butt, but anyway....)
SHE managed to make it in here on time, even though she had to use a dog team and several of the dogs were blind and one was dead and there was a snow drift the size of Mount Rushmore and she had to go straight up but she was still here at 4:00 a.m. and personally shovelled all of the local roads and some of the sidewalks wearing only sandals and a hat.

From the day after our Administrative Assistant Day lunch. For some reason, she INSISTED that we had to order the chicken panini. We still do not understand why, and refused to do so. She also has a problem with how often we use the restroom, insisting that she can't leave her desk. Even though she has MANY offers to take phones while she does so:

She wouldn't be able to play the Martyr Card which will surely get her STRAIGHT into heaven to sit at the right hand of the Almighty. :-) Wait a minute. No, she wouldn't be satisfied with the right hand. She'd want to BE the Almighty. And the Lord spake, saying, "Ordereth thy Chicken Panini, or thou shalt face my terrible wrath! I shall smite thee with office products!"

Some Work Rants - Headlines

I actually saw these:

Princess robbed of $15.5 million Thieves ripped the safe out of the wall. Police won't say if it could have been an inside job.

(Do a lot of people keep safes outside?)


Private guards kill Somali pirate for first time.
(You mean you get to be killed more than once? How many times do you HAVE to kill them?)

Some Work Rants - Electricity

I was talking to a person far, far, away to troubleshoot our laserjet printer. She wanted to know if we had it plugged into a plug strip or into the wall. She wanted me to try directly plugging the printer into the wall (the cord didn't reach). I gather from this that plug strips dilute electricity somehow and that printers only like pure electricity directly from the wall.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The Twitter Haiku

Tweeting is good fun.
An exercise in control.
Somewhat like haiku.

Am I the only one who can do this? Rattle off a poem, rhyming couplets or poetry on a dime? Is it weird or what? And is it why I don't really care for poetry -- because it comes to me easily? This is an interesting question. I have never been able to write a limerick, and I do like those (Get your minds out of Nantucket!) :-)